Maladaptive daydreaming: a happy story or a prison in the mind?
Maladaptive daydreaming: a happy story or a prison in the mind?
Many of us daydream from time to time. This can allow us to pass the time when in class, unwind from a stressful workday, or simply consider more favourable circumstances.
However, a new phrase has cropped up in the last few years, especially across the popular social media platform TikTok, to describe severe daydreaming. While a normal person may daydream for only a few moments, others create entire plots and worlds within their daydream that lasts significantly longer.
Signs of maladaptive daydreaming
There are differences and similarities between standard daydreams and maladaptive daydreaming.
Maladaptive daydreaming usually involves:
- Creating entire worlds and scenarios in your head
- Acting out parts of the daydream, or speaking aloud without realising it
- Getting lost in the daydream for hours at a time
- Turning to your fantasy worlds in times of stress
- Vivid and detailed daydreams
- Disconnection from the real world
What causes maladaptive daydreaming?
Although maladaptive daydreaming can present alongside more well-known mental health diagnoses, you don’t need to be classed as mentally unwell to find yourself using this coping mechanism.
Some people may turn to maladaptive daydreaming to manage:
- Traumas, particularly in childhood
- Boredom
- Stress
- Anger
- Sadness
- Dealing with anxiety
Is maladaptive daydreaming a problem?
Many people may not realise that they aren’t partaking in simple daydreams. Instead, they can get locked in their mind for hours fantasising about real or perceived events.
Maladaptive daydreaming in itself may not be a toxic coping mechanism. However, if these start to affect your life, such as by missing work or school, or an inability to spend time with loved ones, this may signal that you need support.
For many who use maladaptive daydreaming, this may be in response to external triggers or traumas. Therefore, you might want to think about working through some of these problems to gain control over your daydreaming and to promote better well-being.
There may also be occasions where it is unsafe for maladaptive daydreaming. In particular, should you notice yourself daydreaming while outside, especially if driving, this may signify that additional help is required. In this instance, daydreaming would be dangerous for others around you as well as yourself.
Triggers for maladaptive daydreaming
While we can daydream at any point during our waking hours, those susceptible may find that certain stimuli will trigger them into their daydreams.
Some examples of triggers can include:
- Music – for some, listening to music can create a soundtrack for the events happening within their mind. Some people might even create specific playlists to set the scene, enabling them to alter the events of their daydreams depending on the type of music heard.
- Mirrors – social media has documented a number of people who, when they view themselves in the mirror, begin to daydream. Speaking out about their experiences has led to others coming forward with similar experiences. Some might even go so far as to cover their mirrors to prevent this trigger from activating.
- Media – Watching a movie, reading a book, or even listening to the news on the radio can be enough to lock a person inside their own mind. The events within these could become part of the ‘plot’ of the daydream.
A personal experience with maladaptive daydreaming
To help you better understand maladaptive daydreaming, I want to share my own personal experiences.
For me, it started when I was around 13 years old. I would daydream at school to escape both bullying and boredom. I created the main character, based on the person I wished I was, complete with magic powers and a secret identity.
From here, this developed to include enemies, allies, and ferocious battles. Now, 20 years later, I find myself still turning to these make-believe scenarios during times of stress or boredom.
Music is a big trigger for me. I can listen to the same songs for hours on end while running through scenarios of war and mayhem followed by victory and glory. In reality, I won’t have moved at all in that time and my gaze would remain unfocused.
The aftermath
Maladaptive daydreaming isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Those of us who experience it clearly have a wide imagination and lots of creativity. However, we never seem to put pen to paper about these events.
This may be mainly due to worries about negativity from others. Fear of loved ones mocking you for enjoying your own fantasy worlds can prevent people from discussing what they imagine.
Alternatively, some may feel guilt over spending extended periods of time daydreaming. This may especially be the case if they were unable to complete their work or chores due to their daydreams.
How can I control maladaptive daydreaming?
There are several ways you can limit your daydreaming so that it doesn’t become a problem or interfere with everyday life.
- Write down your daydreams – documenting what you think about when you daydream could allow you to pinpoint why you got lost in your thoughts in the first place. Should you wish to share this with a loved one, you may find it easier to get them to read what you wrote rather than attempt to vocalise your thoughts. Otherwise, keeping a journal could enable you to potentially publish your story in the future or, at the very least, keep track of your internal storyline.
- Set alarms – some people use maladaptive daydreaming by choice. This means they can control when they go into a daydream. However, coming out of it might be a little more difficult. Setting alarms can limit the time you spend in the daydream, catering to your desires but not allowing them to take over your day.
- Seek outside support – should you find that your daydreams are taking up a significant portion of your life, you may want to think about getting help. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to stop daydreaming entirely. Instead, it can allow you to work through some of your issues and find healthy ways of coping. This can result in reduced time spent daydreaming and a better sense of well-being.
Have your say
Daydreaming can be a great way to relieve stress. However, maladaptive daydreaming could cause issues within your wider life if not kept in check.
If you have some experience with maladaptive daydreaming or other coping mechanisms for stress and trauma, you might want to think about writing a guest post for Mindful Me.
Together, we can feel better both inside and outside ourselves, and break the stigma associated with struggles.
Freelance writer for 3+ years, currently working in marketing.
I love walks in the woods, Asian dramas, and cooking up delicious food.